My sheets look like a crime scene.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
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