That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
