Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
