Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
