He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
