so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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