week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
