I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
