it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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