Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I want to be your penis for a week.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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