That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
