god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
