My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have fence marks all over my body
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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