Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
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