I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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