If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
