Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm sobbing to NWA
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
