This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
