i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
3pm strippers are depressing
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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