P.S. I can't hear my feet
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
