I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
