I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
