Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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