You work out of a Hotel?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize