id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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