just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
