Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so let's talk penis.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
