I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
oh god the rape fog is back!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
