sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Boobs are out for the taking
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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