i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
