i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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