Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
that is very illegal...i love you.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
