I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
