and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My pussy is not your playground.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
