Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
