I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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