Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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