i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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