I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She told me I should be a condom model.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
