oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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