There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
