I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
