the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
