We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
how do you play pong handcuffed?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
