3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm lost and stupid without you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
