At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
