he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
