is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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