Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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