If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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