Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
