dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
