RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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