I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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